And the day came when the energy it took to remain tight in a bud, was more than the energy it took to blossom.
Anais Nin
Self-esteem is simply the value we place on ourselves. A positive self-image and accepting who we are enables us to believe we deserve the best and provides the confidence we need to achieve what is most important to us. Conversely allowing our inner-critic to dominate our thoughts and constantly putting ourselves down drains our confidence and prevents us realising our potential.
Step 1: What does confidence mean to you?
- Think of people you think are confident. What characteristics do they display?
- What do you currently feel confident about? What do you love doing?
- In which areas of your life would you like to be more confident?
- Take yourself forward in time to when you have the level of confidence you're aiming for. How will life be different? What will you do, be or have?
- What one thing could you do to act as if you are more confident?
Step 2: Put modesty aside
We all have intrinsic strengths and attributes and as they come so naturally to us, we often do not recognise their true value, too busy focusing on our 'weaknesses'. Modesty and high standards can often prevent us acknowledging the best in ourselves so this next exercise may feel rather uncomfortable at first. Throw modesty to one side and give yourself permission to blow your own trumpet!
Make a list of things you are most proud of about you. Include accomplishments in your life, changes you have made, challenges you have overcome and ways you have developed. Don't stop until you have at least 25 positive things. Keep adding to the list as new ideas and memories come to mind. Read and reflect on the list on a weekly basis.
Imagine yourself updating your list in a year's time when you are far more confident than you feel now. What accomplishments will you add to your list? What qualities are you most proud of about you that you will be writing down?
Step 3: Tune into your self-talk and listen to your outer talk
Take time each day to focus objectively on your inner dialogue and the words you use in conversation. Notice which words and phrases could be affecting your self-image. Are you being overly self-critical? Do you find yourself saying 'sorry' too readily? Do you brush aside compliments? Notice your voice tone, body language and posture. Remember to observe without judgement then choose an area on which to work each week. For example stand tall and replace any habitual language or phrases that deny you the confidence you deserve with more empowering ones. You might like to use the following affirmations to start to tame your inner critic and re-program old beliefs that no longer serve you.
- I am calm, centred, composed and confident
- I deserve the best in life
- I choose to think positive and empowering thoughts about myself
- I am perfect, just as I am
- Feeling good about myself enables me to live life to the full
- I value my uniqueness
We hope these exercises help you begin to explore what confidence means to you and what you might need to work on to enhance your self-image and realise your potential. Remind yourself that a lack of confidence is just a habit that can be changed with patience and persistence. If you would like to work with a coach to support you in transforming your self-image and confidence, then please contact us. In any event, we wish you the very best on your journey to giving yourself the confidence you deserve to enable you to live life to the full.